Redwin Smith

Collaborative Mentor

"Facilitating New Personal Life Narratives"

Hello Visiting Person,

Collaborative mentoring is a privileged opportunity to enter into a learning partnership (a catalyzing relationship, a personal discovery journey) with persons—persons seeking new possibilities, persons seeking greater personal satisfaction, persons seeking more creatively meaningful lives, persons who wish to live new "life stories", new narratives... But the collaborative mentor does not have "the answers" nor know "what is best for you", nor know your "individual truths", and is not your therapist.

Within the opening paragraph of Charles Dickens's classic novel, "David Copperfield", Dickens wrote,

Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show. To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record that I was born. ...

In this mostly autobiographical novel, David Copperfield does turn out to be "the hero of [his] own life", the hero of his "life story", his life narrative.

But, what about you? "Do you have a life story? Can you see it? Could you tell it to someone else? After all, what is a life story? Despite our brave resumes with their sweet coherence, our actual experiential lives take place in the murk—no X-ray vision, little sense of our own dance—with few markers and still fewer guides" states Professor Harold Weinstein.¹

Yes! We all have "life stories", narratives, with plots, subplots, premise(s), and storylines. We are our own authors, subjects, and actors. But, suppose our "life story", isn't our wanted "life story", our "heart of hearts" story—then what?

Dr. Dave Krueger, Psychiatrist, Psychoanalyst, Author, and Executive Mentor Coach states ²:

We don't see things as they are; we see what we believe. And we're always right.

We tell our story. Then our story tells us...

Change begins with the recognition that we are the authors of our life stories...

Dr. Ethel Person, Psychiatrist, Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, and Author states ³:

Interpersonal power is power we exert in relationship to someone else, whether by domination and command, tears and entreaties, or compromise and cooperation. Personal power is power over oneself, or better yet, strength within ourselves; it is what is required if we are to insert ourselves into life as the active agent in our life story (bold and italics are mine). To possess personal power is to be truly in possession of the self, to be able to use oneself as the instrument of one's own plans. When we possess it, we feel sure of ourselves; when we exercise it we feel a kind of high.

Within a "collaborative mentoring relationship", one may look at one's "life story", explore new possibilities; envision life purpose/s; clarify needs, values, and goals; look at "philosophy of life"; energize aspirations and talents...

Afterword

Charles Dickens:

Of all my books, I like this the best. It will be easily believed that I am a fond parent to every child of my fancy [imagination], and that no one can ever love that family as dearly as I love them. But like many fond parents, I have in my heart of hearts a favorite child. And his name is DAVID COPPERFIELD.

Kenneth Bragan and D. H. Lawrence:

Real satisfaction in life's achievements comes not from being better than others but from living to one's own potential, being fully oneself and this is something available to everyone no matter what their assets and talents. Lawrence writes: one [woman] man isn't any better than another, not because they are equal, but that they are intrinsically other, that there is no term of comparison.'

And

D. H. Lawrence:

Living consists in doing what you really vitally want to do; what the life in you wants to do, not what your ego imagines you want to do. And to find how the life in you wants to be lived and to live it . . . is difficult.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

Whatever you do you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave women and men to win them.

Will and [Ms.] Ariel Durant, Historians, in "The Lessons of History":

The only real revolution is the enlightenment of the mind and the improvement of character, the only real emancipation is individual, and the only real revolutionists are philosophers and saints [no doubt this includes those seeking enlightened and authentic "personhood"].

Professor Arnold Weinstein, Brown University:

What is a classic? A true classic speaks to the heart and soul, with a message of truth that echoes in our lives long after we've turned the final page.

Having lived his "heart of hearts" life story, Charles Dickens gives to us today; this tidbit of his ongoing legacy has inspired us since Christmas of 1843. And, it wonderfully captures "Scrooge's" [new] arising "life Story":

"Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim . . . he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man as the good old City knew, or any other good old city, town or borough in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed, and that was quite enough for him..."—"A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens, 1843

Warmest Regards,

Redwin Smith

Visitors and small groups (3-5) may contact Redwin Smith, Collaborative Mentor.

¹ Weinstein, Arnold. "Meeting the Challenge of Great Literature." Classic Novels: Meeting the Challenge of Great Literature. Course Guidebook. Chantilly, VA: The teaching Company, 2007.

² Krueger, David, M. D. "Live A New Life Story", The Art and Science of Change, Reinvention, and Success

³ Person, Ethel Spector, M. D., Feeling Strong: The Achievement of Authentic Power. (Chapter 8, "Agency: Authoring Our Own Life Stories", p.183). New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers, Inc., 2002.